How To Embrace Your Body While Losing Weight
You’ve been on a weight loss journey for years and you feel like you’ve gotten nowhere.
Up and down.
Diet after diet.
Cycling through clothing sizes – I know you’re tired and I totally get it.
It’s time to try a more loving approach.Weight loss is a touchy subject in the body confidence space because it always brings about the question: “Can you love your body if you want to lose weight?”
In short, yes, but it is more complicated than that.
Loving your body means much more than just accepting it for what it looks like. It also means that you give your body respect and approach it with kindness.
So how can you do that while you are on a weight loss journey? First I want to bring you into a different perspective.
Do you truly need to focus on weight loss?
I know – you’re shaking your head yes because weight loss has ALWAYS been your goal.(Yes, the tips for embracing your body while losing weight are in the blog post, but stay with me for a moment while I present some hard-hitting facts.)
Fatness is posed as the epitome of an unhealthy body and is considered "bad". To solidify this messaging, weight loss is often presented as the key to optimizing your health.
Then we operate out of fear - fear of gaining weight and fear of being too big.
In actuality, regular exercise, healthy eating habits and keeping your mental health as a priority are the keys to optimizing your health. You can do this whether you are fat, skinny or in between. To put it in perspective: there are plenty of unhealthy skinny people and plenty of healthy fat people.
In the book Body Respect (which is a must-read!), the facts of weight loss are highlighted.
The majority of people who lose weight, gain it back after about 7 months. Most will end up where they were, and some will gain even more weight. The kicker – it always leads to more frustration.
The truth is fluctuating your weight up and down through restriction, and cycling in and out of diets creates an incredible amount of stress on your mind and body.
Listen, it’s totally possible that the weight you are is what you where you're meant to be.
It is also probable that when you start listening to your body, engaging in joyful movement and stop restricting yourself that your body will settle into its natural size. In a Body Kindness podcast interview, Neuroscientist Sandra Aamodt, PhD, discusses how our brain already regulates our weight. She said “losing weight on purpose never works”
If it did wouldn’t everyone just be skinny?
Why does data show that we generally gain all the weight back?
If you hate your body, weight loss isn't going to cure that. Take it from me, I dropped weight and still hated myself before I realized that self-love was going to come from inside of me, no matter my weight.
Even so, I understand that weight loss may still be your goal and I plan to encourage you to love your body every step of the way.
I encourage you to detach shame from food and exercise with joy. You will settle right into your natural weight.
Even so, I believe you have the right to choose for yourself how you want to move toward health.
If you read all that and still want to lose weight intentionally, here are 7 ways to love your body while you are losing weight
Understand That Your Weight Is Not Your Worth
I used to have clothes that I was "saving" for after I lost a few more pounds. I couldn't wear a crop top if my belly jiggled even a little bit.
I was ashamed and felt like only the tiniest women deserved to wear clothes like that. I needed to work harder to earn my right to show off any part of my body.
Have you ever held yourself back from doing something or wearing a specific style because of your size?
Attaching your size and weight to your value is a sure way to make your head spin with shame and doubt.
No matter how much you believe hating what you look like is the best way to motivate your weight loss, it is counterproductive.
The message that you need to hate your body is so prevalent that you believe dropping weight is the only way to FINALLY be healthy. There are many phrases swirling around the fitness world that are harmful. Most can really trigger your emotions related to your body.
(*I’m not mentioning any examples because these harmful phrases can be highly triggering. This is a safe space!)
Your value is so much more than your size. As a matter of fact, your size is the least valuable thing about you.
With that said, be mindful of the things that truly speak to your worth.
Your intuition
Your creativity
Your ability to work hard
Your existence (yes you are valuable simply because you exist!)
The truth, there is a strong message that larger bodies carry less value and although I know that you understand that logically, it is time to make your heart feel that.
READ: How To Build A Body You Can Be Proud Of
Stay Away From Quick Fixes
Girl, I’ve seen programs designed to sell a small waist, big butt body.
Programs meant to give you flat abs.
Products meant to help you lose weight.
Skinny teas
Detoxes
Waist Trimmers
Weight Loss Supplements
Crazy Intense Exercise Programs
Exercises to decrease cellulite
Ab Challenges
These are designed to prey on your insecurities.
Any quick-fix weight loss products or services promising to help you “burn fat fast” or “get rid of stubborn belly fat” are just straight-up misleading.
These are generally promoted by already “fit” or thin people, perpetuating the belief that only smaller bodies are genuinely worthy.
An exercise program led by a trainer who developed high-level exercises for extreme fitness is not what you need. Sometimes these programs are SO intense that a beginner has a hard time getting through it. This, unfortunately, makes you feel even worse! The last thing you need is to feel like a failure.
Focus On How You Feel
I know that so much of your journey has been focused on how you look.
Trying to get "snatched"
What dress size you fit into.
How many pounds you dropped this week.
These indicators are really not important at all.
If you feel exhausted, hungry all the time and are having trouble sleeping – that is not healthy.
Even if you have lost ten pounds – if you feel like crap then it is not worth it.
Skinniness is not a feeling, but grouchiness, exhaustion, and discouragement are all things you can be feeling if you are fueling your weight loss with looks.
There is ALWAYS some other standard to seek.
I lost weight then I wanted abs.
To clear all my acne scars.
To get rid of cellulite.
To lighten my stretch marks.
For my butt to bigger.
ON AND ON AND ON. I never felt like enough.
I had to realize it didn't matter.
Practice Acceptance
Learn to love your body for what it can do instead of what it looks like. Since first publishing this, I’ve learned a little more about the ableist nature of this kind of statement. Also, it’s deeper than this. Learn to give your body respect because you deserve to be at peace. Your body is your home.
Acceptance is the realization that your body is not meant to look like anyone else’s
We overlook this because our minds have been trained only to view specific body types as beautiful.
Learn To Engage In Joyful Movement
Consider engaging in movement positively.
I've had people say things like
"I hate running, but it's the fastest way to lose weight."
"I hate lifting weights, but I do it because I know I'll look better."
No.
Listen, movement is good for you, but it is essential to find something you like. (you can learn to enjoy something like weightlifting, but if you give it a chance and hate it, by all means, find something else!)
Punishing yourself with exercise will make you dread movement and be unable to access the full benefits. You truly can find joy in movement.
Your body was designed to move, and whether you do yoga, go running, lift weights, or dance is up to you. You can even do a combination of these and others!
Forcing yourself to do exercises you truly despise will not convince you that movement is joyful.
Find out what you love to do and engage in it regularly.
Listen To Your Body
Choosing to embark on a weight loss journey is incredibly difficult, especially if you want to lose a significant amount of weight (50+pounds)
Sometimes, people will choose weight loss for safety in this world Sometimes they are forced into it when trying to receive appropriate medical care.
But even if you choose to engage in intentional weight loss, know that it likely won’t work long term. Also, understand that there are no quick fixes.
Take time to be in your body and not just in your head.
Take time to listen to what your body is telling you and develop a true relationship with it
Your body will always give you signals when something isn’t quite right and when things are lovely.
Celebrate when you feel amazing.
Find understanding when you are not feeling so good.
Rest when you need it and don’t push yourself so far that it ends up hurting.
Ignore messaging like:
“No Pain, No Gain”
“If you didn’t sweat, it wasn't a workout.”
“No rest days”
“But did you die?”
These are all super harmful and have no place in your journey to true body confidence.
Stop Comparing Yourself To Instagram Fitso
The Instagram fitspo ranges from people who are in competition prep to professional athletes and trainers.
If someone’s body is causing you to feel jealousy, unfollow them.
You can follow the same diet and exercise plan as your favorite fitspo, but your body composition is different.
You might feel like someone is #bodygoals but keep in mind that having a goal to look like someone completely different set you up to be disappointed.
You have a unique design that can be optimized for YOU, but trying to reach a standard that isn’t yours is unhealthy.
Even if you were to eat, have the same job, sleep, and exercise just like someone else, their body would be different than yours.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
In fact, there is so much beauty in our differences.
It is beautiful to be the best version of yourself, not anyone else's ideal.
Be Patient With Yourself
I understand how frustrating it can be when trying to achieve a specific goal, and it seems you aren’t coming any closer to it.
This is the biggest reason I have taken on an anti-diet approach. Bodies change. You can lose or gain weight throughout your life, but intentional weight loss usually ends up in disappointment. I don’t mean to be all doom and gloom but most people gain weight back.
Have patience. Remember that weight loss isn’t what is vital to your health.
Regular movement and giving your body the food it needs it what has an impact on your health. No matter how much weight you lose, or don’t lose, you are still on an impactful journey that has the potential to change your life for the better.
Desperately trying to drop more weight quickly is a path that leads to disappointment.
Remember that any quick-fix, short term workout or weight loss supplements are going to be superficial. (A lot of times these supplements help you lose a lot of water weight. Some are simply laxatives)
Diets that restrict too heavily encourage binging, so do not fall into the trap.
It can be super hard to maintain a level of patience in a society where everything is promoted as a quick fix or accelerated.
RUN FROM ANYTHING LIKE THIS.
It is so much better to be in this for the long haul in order to have long term and optimized health.
Get Enough Rest
Sleep deprivation can cause all kinds of stress and stress can lead to negative thoughts.
When I’m sleepy I’m more snappy, critical and unkind.
Sleep helps you to restore your energy and prepare you for your day. It also helps you to think more clearly and rationally. Struggling with your body image requires clear thinking so that you can break free of limiting beliefs and mindsets that are holding you back.
I would argue that sleep deprivation is the number one cause of continual stress (not a study, just experience :))
Make sure you get them zzzzs!
Conclusion
Girl, weight loss is probably not what you need to focus on.
If you have spent years of your life cycling up and down with your weight, in and out of weight loss tricks, diets, and binge eating, it is time to get clear about what you are looking for.
To review here is how to embrace your body while you are losing weight,
Understand That Your Weight Is Not Your Worth
Stay Away From Quick Fixes
Learn To Engage In Joyful Movement
Focus On How You Feel
Practice Acceptance
Listen To Your Body
Stop Comparing Yourself To Instagram Fitso
Be Patient With Yourself
Get Enough Rest
